Jenny's Spicy World

Dear Jay-anne,  You are now 38. You've come a long way but why do you still miss your old and young self? That one reel you just watched a few seconds ago about writing a letter to your young self triggered you to write her on this blog while tears streaming down.  How are you? I am happy you enjoyed grade school to college days. When you reach the 35s, it's not so happy here anymore. You constantly question your decisions in life. I don't know but the ones on the reels, it supposed to be positive yet I ended up more what ifs now.  What if back in 2013-2014, you gave your your first ex's comeback a chance and eventually agreed to fly with him and live in Canada after college? What could have been your life right now? I know at that time, you no longer love him as a boyfriend and only sees him as a friend since you had the cop as your 3rd and current lover at that time whom you never ended up right now anyway. Remember that the first ex mailed you at your 1st job's o...

  Hi! It has been 5 months since I quit the job.  It never felt liberating yet frustrating at the same time. I never thought I'd be feeling depressed now that I thought that I have been longing for this ever since anyway. You know what I mean? I prayed to take a break from working so long since 2009. Imagine,  straight 16 years. You cannot blame me for wishing to be at least relaxed and find time for myself.  I don't know if this is part of having existential or midlife crisis 'coz I can still remember wishing to retire at 40 but I'm supposed to have 2 years more since I am still 38. Too early, right?  Looking back, seems like prayer and manifesting are true.  Back in college, I don't miss praying everyday as I arrive at the university. I drop at our campus chapel and pray to at least experience graduating with flying colors. Guess what, i became a dean's lister at 1st quarter of my senior year.  3 months after graduation, i prayed to get a job so I ca...

 January 2, 2025 Thursday9:14 PM Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Diary! Yes, that's an exclamation point! Just wanna greet you a joyful new year of 2025! I am so glad to have thrived and survived a tremendous and humbling year - 2024.  Just wanna share that 2024 has been so unfortunate of me. Just so you know, it has been my tradition to always check the fortunes and luck based on zodiac and I never realized  not until everything already happened and broke me.  I know I haven't really jot down everything here on the blog on what happened but because of how unfavorable life has been for me, I came back on this site so I can pen everything. If you look back,  have never really wrote about the good stuff I received in the previous years except whenever I am feeling down. So basically, all my happy memories are just stored on my Instagram and Youtube page. And I just thought about it now, maybe I was evil-eyed.  2017 started all the bad things happened. I guess I alread...

 Hi Blog! It's a Monday morning. 10:32AM.  I just paused my song playlist right now and feeling emotional. Whenever I play Billie Eilish's What Was I Made For  song, it just makes me cry. Probably because it struck me the most. Maybe I am just going thru something and can never really make me figure out where to start and be happy again. Or just maybe my hormones 'coz I have my monthly visit now on it's 3rd day.  You know the feeling when it's supposed to be a happy get-together yet you chose to be violent and unpredictable and you just hate why you have to react that way at an age of 38. F*ck.  Yesterday, I'm supposed to be on a vacation but my emotions caught me. Instead of making fight with everybody, I chose to walk out on my shorts and shirt, picked up my bag and left the place without telling everybody. My anger had me bawling while waiting for the bus in the highway. I kept wiping my tears so nobody can notice me. Good thing the bus isn't full so I sa...

 Dear World,  follow me on insta I just woke up right now, 6: 46 in a Sunday morning. Leaning in my swivel chair, typing on this keyboard getting inspired to jot down stuff after series of watching random reels on Facebook.  How are you by the way? I was searching back this  blog although honestly I am no longer used to say "blog" anymore since at these times, "vlog - video blog" has been the norm ever since.  I noticed that it has been what (2024 less 2016) eight long years I haven't posted anything on this page. And a lot of things happened in that era. As usual, I want to write the highlights of those years here but I'm afraid I will lose my drive to write if I would go into details now. Maybe I will just mention it along the way if there are moments that would be a good comparison. What's most important, I would go back to writing especially if I like it just to document things I would go over with day by day.  It must be a good thing for you to know...

Hello! I know it has been awhile not posting anything here! I have been battling a good fight for the past years up until now. You always know that this blog has been my consolation and not minding people to read this though since am not aiming for followers anyway. Well, lemme go back to the reason why I am here again. And that's for sure due to depression, sadness and frustrations. These drives and motivates me to write something which i don't have the guts to tell people surrounding me. And i don't want them to be bothered of my problems and anxieties either. I know each one of us face different things apart from what i am experiencing now. But the photo above reminds me to be calm during this storm. My life has always been topsy-turvy. And no matter what, i always keep myself grounded how to make this life straighten up. I am starting to lose myself! At times, i am even thinking of ending this life. Butttt,  i don't even know really. 'Til here th...

Every people I know craves for summer despite the escalating hot degrees outside, thank God for air-conditioned rooms though. I do have a lot of things to be grateful for this year. It has been a yo-yo year. I've got lots of responsibilities from home up to work aspect; i'm full. But somehow, i still managed the first quarter and slaying all of it with my six pair stilettos.  I could definitely remember JANUARY, after that New Year celebration, i was able to do almost all of the groceries during the holidays. By FEB, though i haven't had any romantic dates at all, i spent partying with my friends instead. It was fun. I attended a friend's wedding and went suburbs almost every weekend.  Of course March came and still can't get enough with summer as it starts. My colleagues and i hit the white sand beaches, cold and hot springs, and sunken cemetery  visits at Camiguin Island right before the holy week. Long weekend was dedicated to an exclusive quality ti...

Hi. Let's call this another random i-love-to-write kind of day and not to mention of just waking up after a 10-minute quick nap. Before i resume working on my desk for another formal articles to submit, here i am, jotting down with you instead. Couple of months have passed and plenty of changes has been going on lately. Around July, Mom was admitted AGAIN in the hospital due to diabetic complications which resulted to her swollen feet and, thank God, she's fine now. We were discharged three days after. And around last week of July, our landlord for four years informed us the sudden grand renovation of their apartment. Of course, we only have 3 days left to look for another place to transfer in. Finally, on the 1st of July, we moved in another compound just a block across the old apartment. Well, it was great. New building, new place, new month. Everything new. Literally, the 3-storey apartment is new and in fact still under construction. I picked the 3rd floor of...

I can never thank enough my job that brings me to places.  It may not be internationally but at least within Northern Mindanao. I am good at multi-tasking, FYI, and that includes juggling my monotonous work life while having fun such as photography. Of course, your companions add more colors to it and for the ones you don't like, feels like hell. Haha.  Last February 26 was my 2015 kickstart out-of-town travel related to work. I have been to Misamis Occidental before around 2011 when I and a bunch of my workmates from my previous company went to Dakak Resort  and stayed there for three days.  The only difference now in visiting Misamis Occidental was going to some far-flung areas and meet people there to conduct an orientation on programs and services. Before, i focused on a summer where white beaches lay and now focused instead on serving government programs. Ugh. Such a turned of events.  But i just wanted to enlist here my first times: My fi...

Nobody's perfect. I have read something in the internet yesterday...wait...yeah, my horoscope. That's it! I have read that I can attract a multitude of positivity in my environment and the same goes being prone to negativity too.  Back to the 'perfection' topic. I know I ain't a good writer. Not the level of author's that bookworms get a nod at or a huge chin up for. I select articles or stories to read but i am not best in wordplay. I am just the average type of writers that get lost or lack of words to use. I get writer's block almost all the time and i definitely just laugh at my stupidity if that's what you call it. Definitely i am not a JANET EVANOVICH that engagingly writes interesting adventure stories of Stephanie Plum. What i love is just to write my journals. Haha. I aim not to impress anybody but, you know, just record my life stories and how i go about it throughout the day. In these generation of social networking sites, bas...

Hi, am back.  Just want to share how am prone to AWKWARD MOMENTS these past few days. I have observed how caught off guard the situations are and ( of course! ) i am definitely settling my composure.  The day before Christmas 2014, i was on a rush at Robinsons - Centrio Ayala Mall doing some last minute shopping when i felt someone's looking at me from behind. As what instincts usually do, i turned around and ( gasp! ) my 2years ex-lover and i had that eye connection. After 5 long years of break-up, it was that quick scene that finalizes our closure. I knew he was with someone else unfortunately i haven't had the chance to glance at the girl since i was quick to turn back and hoping he hasn't seen me looking at them. Attaboy!  Another scenario was just this week (it was Tuesday and my first workday of 2015) when i had dinner at a fastfood and religiously lined up at a queue. When at my turn at the counter, someone suddenly distracts my order list with the ca...

You know, huge changes have happened in 2014. "Boy, time flies so fast" . I so gonna agree with Archie when i read this line long time ago. It was one of my comic collections that i have started during my elementary days.  You bet Archie has a huge impact on my character. Haha! So moving on, I know I haven't highlighted stuff during my 2014 and most probably all its pictures will just store in my memory. Vast memories of course that counts melancholy of surviving and happily living. Thank God i have survived the challenging year and of course I would want to start this year with this entry for me to look back when i get to the end. I want to start writing this entry before i get choked with articles flooded with my job. Haha. So ironic. You know, i love to write stuff about how creative life is  instead of any monotonous job-related events. Hehe. Too rude, eh? I bumped a blog yesterday and i am so motivated to do just like her. I love her opinio...

I'm back again! It's hard to find job nowadays. If you might find one, you're perhaps just forced to do but eventually love it. And for that instance, motivation  and inspiration  takes place to make the journey lighter. Lo and behold, you'll be the most lucky person of 'em all. Well, the world is too much complicated to add your own sentiments but thanks to this blog 'coz i can rant all i want (now that actually rhymes). Nurrr, this concern is not a big deal. Just wanted to write something rather than blabbing here with my officemate. Apologies for abstract and deep musings.  I just love this personality. Teheee! 

CLIMATE CHANGE. This is not anymore part of the heresy of nineteen-forgotten and make-believe era.  I remember when I was in my senior years in college. During the American election of then-now US President Barack Obama. If am not mistaken, that was around 2008.  Al Gore  was famous of being a vocal environmentalist and emphasized the huge meltdown of glaciers in Antartica.  My batchmates and i were in mixed emotions of awe and fear following vivid advanced imaginations of Armageddon. Scary! But of course, he implanted that we humans can still be of help on this drastic measures by helping the environment cope up with stress. For instance, PLANT MORE TREES. I remember how worried I was to watch that documentary seeing parts of lands to submerge after the huge meltdown. I was thinking of my hometown 'coz we're by the seaside. What will happen to the beaches? What will happen to the vast earth that will be swallowed up by the massi...

Hello there! What a relaxing week that was. Maraming nangyari: fulfilling job week, apartment chores and lastly, lovelife. Fulfilling indeed. Had tons of cases (even personal) to write to embassies and sort of. Yeah, am fulfilled even though there are times such cases are way complicated to handle. Emotional people MUST NOT be on my shoe if at the end of the day you wept more than the complainant itself. Minsan nga naisip ko na dahil sa THE LEGAL WIFE  teleserye, more wife victims are encouraged to step up and claim what are rightfully theirs. I need not to explain the TLW's definition since everybody knows about. Pwera na lang kung sa'ng planeta ka galing.  Last weekend, was literally impulsive in re-arranging my apartment. Well, even my mom yesterday complimented the huge difference of the ambiance. Even my beau acknowledged it and even asked why do i have to. Minsan nga gusto ko na tuloy magtake ng interior designing sa hilig ko ng changes sa room. Kung pwede nga la...

Almost all of the people in the world would definitely crave for PEACE. Let's i nsert  UP DHARMA DOWN playlist here to complete the ambiance. Sorry if i kinda sound negative today. It's just my adrenaline for writing is at its peak whenever i kinda feeling down. This is where i find my escape, my solitude.  I know am not alone with this but hell yeah, it sucks. Don't blame me to seek fun on weekends. A kind of fun where it feels like it's jailbreak 'coz it my escapism, my solitude.  Lord God, help! 

Hello there! Am back again. Just finished reading the whole entries from 2007 and figured out my two years hiatus last 2012 & 2013 with this blog.  Ang sayang!  A lot of events happened within that year pa naman.  And, also figured how devastated i am with the lovelife. Nakakatawa. Anyway, for the record, I AM HAPPY! I am happy of what i am now. I am happy with the new work, still behind the desk. I am happy writing articles at work and manages to get criticized at times with my tenor. Haha. I am happy adjusting with the people i get to work with. IT'S PART OF MATURITY.  Overall, I am happy. I don't wanna waste a negative emotion in an entry that freezes for a lifetime.  I am happy with my salary ( at least!). HAHAHAHA. I am happy with my new set of friends. I am happy with life.

Right after my college graduation, am blessed to get a job as fast as three months. And after three months, i am loyally attached with the first job for over four years. And now, here i am swiveling my office chair and on a month of working as Labor Communications Officer in a government agency in the region. Changing my working environment is the most life-changing decision i have ever had.  Time passes and everything changed gradually. Not totally boasting but my career this year is skyrocketing yet my social life's at stake. Seems like heavens and constellations are in parallel just for me. I feel so lucky. This job made me realize that i should have been quite attentive on my major Journalism class. I am eating articles from morning til afternoon to get my beats, but oh well, still surviving. I am reviving this blog for heaven's sake. Ta'ta! Til the next posts. 

HELLO THERE! I have this overwhelming feeling right now. It's pure joy, happiness and love. Am not talking about my poor love affair right here. Let's just call it an obsession from a thousand miles fan to a getting-to-stardom choreographer and dancer. I guess i have not mentioned about   BRIAN PUSPOS  in my previous entries and that's the reason why i wanted to exclusively feature him now in this unpopular blog of mine. Let's start from the very beginning of how i got to meet him like what everybody asks me whenever i replace my Facebook profile photo with his picture or every time i post video links of his dance clips from Youtube or just simply an obviously-obsessive-status on my FB wall. Actually, even now that am writing this entry, it gives me that giddy feeling like a high school girl with a crush. So funny. It all started out with my younger brother's obsession of him. Yes, you heard it right. My bro's the first one who fell in love with him. So gay...

The past few days have been quite a realization to me.  From the point of praying hard for the 'perfect',if not a better man, up to this stage of being crucial to my career path. Yes i admit, i have been indulged to a polygamy relationship for almost a year ( and both sides didn't know about this and am not proud with this!) and one thing i did that because i can't let go with the past. But that's not the issue here. So the story goes with:  My ex and i were okay. We were okay. We have been together for like 3years. Same with other normal couples, we also have that on and off, on and off, on and off.  Not until that day of discovering of what should have been kept private. Yes i admit again that that discovery was slightly planned and i just wanna prove myself for some hard-kicking evidences and i got it right. You know, women's intuition. And to cut the story short, that relationship ended. Hey, that wasn't the only reason but even before, we already h...